Memorable extracts

"Sorry." I sighed. "I'm just feeling a bit .. you know..."

"Yes. I do know. But you're on the brink of such an exciting time. You're going to meet so many new people. New boys..." She reached out and took hold of my fingertips. "Boys who live in this world."

I sniffed. "Yeah. I know that..."

"You're a special girl. You're right. Not conventional in the least. But, believe me, there are plenty of unconventional men out there. Flesh and blood, non shape-shifting. Earthly boys .. Your father is one of them."

I laughed. "Dad?"

"Yeah, your dad." Mum scratched at the vinyl tablecloth. "He's uniquely reliable, and patient, and good. He'll never let us down. He would never leave us." She paused. "I just know."

"Even if he found out about you and Gabriel?"

She didn't flinch. "He just wouldn't understand .. it would be too much. And none of that matters any more."

"But it means he doesn't properly know you," I said. I knew I was being unfair to her but it was true.

"Sweetheart. I'll let you into a little secret. Sometimes it's better that your husband doesn't know everything about you. Sometimes, you need to keep some things to yourself. Things that have no bearing on your relationship."

*

"/../ He was so .. He doesn't want  me any more."

"And how did that make you feel?" said Soren.

"Terrible. It felt like my heart was being ripped out."

"See .. you remember that strength of feeling. I know somewhere underneath his sense of responsibility, Luca feels exactly the same."

"He can't." I felt my eyes welling up. "You should have seen his-"

"Jane. Boys do that. They make a decision and it is as though an iron shield comes down between their heart and their head," said Soren. "If you were more experienced, you would know this."

*

"Why are you so determined to keep your past a secret?"

/.../

"I'm serious. Why can't you tell me?"

I watched as he finished his water, placing the empty cup on the table. He finally engaged with me, a more thoughtful look on his face.

"Listen, there are  some things you really are better off not knowing," he said quietly. "Things that might .. well, that might give you the wrong idea about me."

"But that's just it, I have no idea about you. /.../"

*

"/.../ He doesn't care." I really didn't want to think about last night. The last time I would ever see Luca.

"Of course he does, you fool. Do you realise what a risk it must have been for him to do that?"

"Oh, I'm sick thinking about it," I snapped. "Sick of thinking how hard it must be for Luca. What about me? What about how hard it is for me?"

*

"I hope he'll be OK..." I gazed into the distance.

"Soren?"

"No .. Luca." I sighed, putting an arm around her. "This is all so hard for him."

"You always think of him," she said. "More than yourself. You must still love him a lot."

I shut my eyes, not knowing how to answer. My feelings hadn't changed. If anything they had only grown stronger. I took a deep breath.

"I care about him," I said. "That won't change."

*

Dalya huffed audibly. "I thought better of you - all those books you used to read, the stories you told me .. I thought you believe in love, Luca." She shook her head. "You have changed, brother."

He was silenced - something in what she had just said pierced him. He realised he barely noticed how much he had altered over the past few months .. until now.

"Maybe I just grew up," he said after a while. "I had to grow up one day. I'm sorry you feel left behind."

***

"Dark Heart Rising", Lee Monroe

Well, you know I actually hate doing this. Reading a book and finding relevant things .. I mean, I just want to read a book. Yeah, I like when they make me think, but .. it's not like I want to find things that are alike my life. I really hate that. But I guess, until I won't get over him completely, I won't stop doing that.