Watch me ᖰґø♥℮ ƴøυ ωґøη❡

Having lots of guy friends is amazing. While being with guys, there's no drama nor gossip. Sure, they are really dirty-minded when there aren't people (especially girls) around, but you get used to it. It's like when they get used to you, they feel comfortable around you and take you like one of them. That feeling is really good.

In my case, being the only girl in guys-only-company, I feel like everyone's emotional girlfriend. They like talking to me, about everything, they laugh with me, tease me, etc, etc. If you've ever had lots of guy friends, you know the feeling and how wonderful it is.

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I think what sucks most, is when you can't get someone you'd loved for a long time out of your system completely. You may reassure yourself he's gone and you don't care about him anymore and you won't ever take him back, but .. well, I can't talk from everyone's point of view, but in my case, I know that's a lie. Like a major lie.

I actually can live without him now. Yeah, you just get used to the feeling you got he rejected you and that you can't have him, but he remains somewhere inside you. Your mind, your heart, your soul. And it doesn't need much to trigger that, ya know. For me, it just takes a certain place (sea, for instance) and certain song (there are quite many actually) to get him rush back instantly.

I can feel the tears forming in my eyes and a knot in my throat, and I just can't help that. I hate the feeling. I also can't do anything about the need to talk to him. I remember how cool he was and what deep & cute & perfect our conversations were, and I know I want to have them again.

Lately, I've been asked whether I'd took him back, if he magically came back. And you know what? I would. Definitely. I wouldn't even question that. Because deep down I know I'll love him forever. But that's somewhere deep inside my system. It's not like it was before, I don't let it slip out that often.

So you can't actually help that. It's just that if you'd really loved someone, you'll have them forever.