Monster, how should I feel?

I knew it's coming and was kinda okay with that, but now I don't know what's it all about, I'm such a mess.

Who you turned me into and why? I'm just like you, breaking people's heart without even bothering myself. Giving them hope, though, I'm not sure. Why? Tell me why you had to do that. Now I don't know what to say. At least I feel sorry.

Monster, monster, monster.

I need a break, I can't handle that anymore. I can't change it 'cause it had already happened. At least I have few days to think. Then to face it.

Oh God.

I guess, I should ask you what to do next. You're the one who knows how to handle that. Monster. Can't blame you, sorry. Who I am to do that if I behave exactly like that? Fuck.

It feels like .. you can't leave me, so you keep haunting me. If you can't get me, then let me hurt others. Hate, hate, hate.

I'm nothing but a monster, monster, monster. Why I did that?!