I wonder how many times I've already said that I'm completely over him and don't want him at all. I know I've never felt that it's that much truth. This time I do, truly. But at the same time, he'd be so nice to me. He'd smile and laugh and talk to me and .. sometimes even check me out maybe. He never did it in the past. Then he'd just ignore me and now .. I wonder what has changed his mind.Why would he suddenly care so much. Is it because I befriended two of his closest friends? That I actually consider them as my guy (best) friends? Is he kind of .. jealous? I don't know.
But for sure I know that I must not fall in his web anymore. I .. well, I know there's a part in me - and I don't know how little or .. big it is - that still wants him, but I may not. He's so not right for me, 'specially after everything I've been through and know about him. The truth is, I will love him forever, but not in that way anymore. He's just a friend. Maybe I want him to be my best friend, but I can't let him that close.
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I wonder why I would always fall for so wrong guys. First the guy who'd ignore me for like 3 years and then suddenly starts socializing with me as if we've been friends for years. Then a guy who is a party-maniac, drinks almost every day, kind of is a player and does god-knows-what else. A guy who is so cute and who I can cuddle with, but later it comes out he has a girlfriend and he doesn't even remember me!
Like .. what the hell.
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