It's so strange how 3 hours of one night can actually change sth for you forever.
I mean, for now it was almost 4 months ago, but I remember it like it was just yesterday.
For one night (3 hours, if being exact) I became the hottest topic of the day, almost got kissed and partied as much as I wanted to.
But the problem isn't about being "the topic", it's more like .. I don't know. I don't like when people look at you and immediately start whispering. Sure, we can't do anything about that, and I don't mind mostly, but .. they thought I'm a .. hook-up girl? Yeah, they haven't seen me like this that often, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun with guys.
And they were just like "wow, looks like we have a secret slut here" or sth. It made me feel like I can't have fun with guys without their permission. Not that I gave a fuck or anything.
Actually, the only reason I fell for it, because he treated me right. He made me feel beautiful, he danced, he talked to me nonstop, he protected me with his body when guys started Cola fight, and hugged when we said our goodbyes (that was as well as moment he wanted to kiss me, but I didn't want it to happen). Except making me feel beautiful, he (the guy I used to love) haven't done anything to me. But this guy .. we danced club dance, and when I said, I'm tired of it, he just grabbed me and started dancing waltz. It was amazing how he didn't give a fuck as well about what others will say.
Then .. we went outside to breathe some fresh air, 'cause it was really hot inside. I said, I'm cold, and he touched my arm, as making sure I really was. That was the moment I understood I can't help but taking him nothing but as a friend. I loved once, and that was the only guy who gave me electricity. He, on the other hand, didn't. And as I've learned, that means no love.
However, I'm sad we don't socialize anymore. It seems like for him it was just an adventure for one night. Not that I allowed him to do anything... Now, when he sees me, he just has sth strange in his eyes. It, again, makes me wonder if it was "just one night". I just .. need him as a friend.
You never have too much friends. Especially guy friends. (just saying: I have only one I can feel like best friend, then my ex-crush and his friend, and then some guys I know I can talk to)
And they were just like "wow, looks like we have a secret slut here" or sth. It made me feel like I can't have fun with guys without their permission. Not that I gave a fuck or anything.
Actually, the only reason I fell for it, because he treated me right. He made me feel beautiful, he danced, he talked to me nonstop, he protected me with his body when guys started Cola fight, and hugged when we said our goodbyes (that was as well as moment he wanted to kiss me, but I didn't want it to happen). Except making me feel beautiful, he (the guy I used to love) haven't done anything to me. But this guy .. we danced club dance, and when I said, I'm tired of it, he just grabbed me and started dancing waltz. It was amazing how he didn't give a fuck as well about what others will say.
Then .. we went outside to breathe some fresh air, 'cause it was really hot inside. I said, I'm cold, and he touched my arm, as making sure I really was. That was the moment I understood I can't help but taking him nothing but as a friend. I loved once, and that was the only guy who gave me electricity. He, on the other hand, didn't. And as I've learned, that means no love.
However, I'm sad we don't socialize anymore. It seems like for him it was just an adventure for one night. Not that I allowed him to do anything... Now, when he sees me, he just has sth strange in his eyes. It, again, makes me wonder if it was "just one night". I just .. need him as a friend.
You never have too much friends. Especially guy friends. (just saying: I have only one I can feel like best friend, then my ex-crush and his friend, and then some guys I know I can talk to)
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