☣ Vendetta ☣

Because when people you love the most hurt you the most, it is almost unbearable. Well, it hurts a lot and you want to die. Why would you keep yourself alive? Because you think you have a chance, hope for a miracle to happen.

I don't wait for that anymore. I mean, yeah, sure, I can visualize it and whatever, but I know it won't happen. It's like .. impossible? World ends this December more likely.

But knowing I don't have a chance doesn't change anything. It's not like I've stopped loving him. Not like I don't think about him majority of time. Not like I still don't .. hope.

I almost hate that word now. Because of him, it had lost its magic. It's meaning.

For him, it's easy to break with people. He won't care about what they feel and of course he won't obsess himself with a girl who wants to cry again and again just because he had replaced her with other people.

With people who don't love him.

Who don't ask wrong questions, but also don't care that much.

Who are not obsessed with him, but won't be by his side forever.

They are not who will help him  even when he doesn't want their help.

They are not me. Me who would do every of that step au contraire. Just because he's all I need.

Though, maybe that's exactly the reason I'm not the one he'd want to socialize with. But I'm pretty sure that's the reason I get hurt so much.

Thanks.

Love you too, Jason.